My latest for Mother Jones, wherein we find the Texas contender pledging allegiance to the America he envisions. It's the third in my Rick Perry Trilogy...perhaps it will prove to be the third in my Rick Perry Quadrilogy...
Written, animated and acted by me.
Here's his pledge, along with links for each item:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the America I envision:
One nation, under God .. and speaking of God, not just any old God, but the Christian God of the Bible … http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/08/what-expect-rick-perrys-prayer-festival-the-response
And speaking of the Bible, I pledge allegiance to an America where schools teach creationism because nobody can even understand that evolution stuff and creationism’s nice and simple-like and easy enough for plain folk… http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/08/yes-texas-public-schools-teach-creationism
And speaking of plain folk, I pledge allegiance to an America that don’t believe in no fancy gay marriage stuff! After all, tying the knot’s only natural between a man and a woman... http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/08/rick-perry-pledges-investigate-intimidation-gay-marriage-foes
And speaking of women, I pledge allegiance to an America that takes away the so-called right of women to have an abortion, 'cause if they got themselves pregnant, well then, like it or lump it, they shouldn’t have no choice in the matter… http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/08/rick-perry-vows-defund-planned-parenthood
And speaking of choice, I pledge allegiance a country that gives the richest people the biggest tax breaks so they can choose to put their money to good use, buying politicians and favors from the regulators… http://motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2011/08/rick-perrys-billionaire-club
And speaking of regulators, now that I think about it, they’ve been getting in the way of the rich people too much, so I pledge allegiance to a country that’s got no regulators… http://thinkprogress.org/green/2011/08/15/296314/perry-reveals-plan-for-total-u-s-anarchy-put-a-moratorium-on-all-regulations/
In fact, the only regulating in the country I’ll pledge allegiance to is regulating federal judges, so the Congress can overturn the decisions of the Supreme Court… http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/seven-ways-rick-perry-wants-change-constitution-131634517.html
And speaking of overturning stuff, I say Social Security is just a ponzi scheme and should be turned over to the states, where those state politicians can decide how to divvy up all them greenbacks… http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/08/12/rick-perry-newsweek-interview-transcript.html
So, like I was saying, I pledge allegiance to the flag of an America I envision and that you’ll get lickety split if I’m voted into the White House. And don’t you think I’d look more natural sitting in the oval office than that Obama guy?